Thursday, September 08, 2016

Soren Patrick Shaw

So things have happened.

The last blog post I wrote, I just gave birth to my daughter Lucy. Little did I know, when she was 6 months old, I would find out that I was pregnant with her brother Soren!

When I first found out, truthfully, I was devastated. I didn't feel strong enough to have 2 babies under two years old and just the thought of it terrified me. It took me a good few weeks to come to terms with the fact that I was going to be a mom again so soon. Which is a silly thought to me now, because our fertility was such an unknown just a few years before Lucy came to be. I eventually came to terms with the fact that Lucy was going to be a big sister so soon! Soren was born on June 14th at 37+1 weeks, which was a complete surprise to us that he decided to come so early!

Since I had gestational diabetes, I thought that home birth wouldn't be an option and that made me sad, since my hospital birth with Lucy wasn't the greatest experience. My midwife assured me that when it came time for me to go into labour, if things were progressing well and quickly that I would be able to stay and labour/deliver at home. Luckily things did move quite quickly. At 37 weeks we discovered that I had a small tear in my hind water and we needed to get things moving. I had a few doses of what they call a "labour cocktail". Which is basically apricot juice, castor oil, almond butter and some verbena oil. While this made my contractions start, my water didn't fully break on its own. So on Tuesday morning around 11:30 my midwife broke my water at the clinic and I walked back home. My contractions started again and I worked through them at home sitting on the couch and watching movies etc. At around 2:45 I ate some lunch and decided that I wanted to get into the bath because I was feeling nauseous and uncomfortable. At this point my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Cora said that if I got into the bath and the contractions slowed down I would have to get out, but boy was that not the case. I got into the bath and my contractions immediately ramped up to 2 minutes apart and boy were they intense. Cora arrived at around 3:20 and set up all of her gear (her electric heat pack basically exploded in the hallway, that was fun). My wonderful doula, Danielle, arrived just after Cora and helped me through some of the strongest contractions. An hour after Cora arrived, Soren Patrick Shaw was born at 4:30pm! Weighing a pound more than his sister, he was 7lbs 4oz! I couldn't believe that it all happened so fast. I had such a supportive team of people surrounding me. Jordan, Heidi, Cora, Danielle and Stephanie were all instrumental in my emotional and physical well being throughout my pregnancy, labour and deliveries (both of them!)






Saturday, August 15, 2015

Thoughts on Babies and Infertility: Revised

So I've logged onto my blog for the first time in almost a year, and as I look at my last post I am reminded of where I was last year emotionally/spiritually.

Today, just over a year later, I am looking down at my almost 12 week old daughter who is playing on her play mat next to me. When I wrote my previous post, there is no way I thought that I would be where I am today. Lucy Grace was born on May 29th, and she is absolutely miraculous and precious. She is learning new things every day, and it is such a joy to watch her grow and develop! 

We were surprised to find out that I was pregnant on September 29th of last year. I had bought a pregnancy test at the dollar store. I didn't think I was pregnant, I just wanted to take the test, see that it was negative and get on with my month (because at this point I was late). Just as I was about to throw the test in the garbage I noticed that second little pink line show up! I can't even describe the feeling that I felt when I saw that little line. Jordan was sleeping because he was still working night shifts at this point. I ran into our pitch black room and sat next to him on the bed. I was shaking. Jordan woke up and because of my reaction, thought there was some sort of tragic accident or that someone was seriously injured. I managed to finally spit out the words "it's positive" and melted into a sobbing mess. Pure happiness and complete fear all at the same time. It finally happened, what I had been waiting for for years. What we thought was impossible finally came true. We decided to head to the drug store and get a more expensive test to REALLY make sure I was pregnant. Sure enough, the expensive test said the same as the one that cost $1.25! 

After 3 years of trying, and doctors telling us that it would be extremely difficult for us to have children, we have our little girl and we couldn't be happier. God is good.









Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Thoughts on Babies and Infertility

Hi blog readers! (I don't even know how many of you there are! but Hi!)

For those of you that don't know, Jordan and I were told in December that having children was going to be more difficult for us than we first thought. We had been trying for almost 2 years, and we weren't seeing results so we decided to get some tests done. These tests told us what both of us didn't want to hear. This journey was going to be a lot more difficult than we anticipated.

Having babies is something you always figure your body just knows how to do. I assumed it would just...work. It should, right? But as we have discovered, that isn't always the case. When we first found out, it was very very hard. Jordan took a week off work and we took time with each other to start to work through this roadblock that we had come to.

Since we got married, I would have tiny emotional breakdowns if I found out one of my friends was pregnant. Unfortunately, at the age we are at (and the fact that we were at bible college) meant that I was hearing about another friend or two every month that were pregnant. I would cry for about half an hour and then I would think "don't worry, it will happen someday." This doesn't mean I wasn't happy for my friends at all. It's a weird mixture of emotions.

Since we found out about our difficulties, it's taken on a whole new meaning when I find out someone close to me is having a baby. Now it's "am I ever going to be pregnant?" "will this ever happen for us?." I found myself seeing young girls on the street with babies thinking "why does she get to have a baby?" or "I would probably be a better mom than her...". Every pregnant belly I saw screamed "this will never be you." These are poisonous thoughts that I still have to battle day to day.

We found out recently that we are going to be Aunt/Uncle to a lovely baby born this September to my Sister and brother in law. We are so excited for them, but I feel terrible about how I initially reacted. They told us over Skype (because they were in New Zealand at the time) and I immediately had to leave the room. As I mentioned before, feeling this odd combination of extreme joy and also extreme sadness and grief at the same time is/was very confusing. It was hard for me at first, but that sadness has gradually turned into complete joy and excitement for them!

I know Jordan and I have our options. Although we will probably never be able to afford in-vitro treatment, there is always adoption through the foster care system and other options as well (IUI etc). Also, who's to say it won't randomly happen one day? Right now, I am loving our time together and I have faith that a baby will come around when the time is right, whether it come from me and Jordan or from other means (I won't steal babies, I promise)

It still does get hard from time to time, thinking about everything, so if you could keep Jordan and I in your prayers, that would be amazing and we are very thankful.

xoxo

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

New Years Resolutions

I've never been a person that is good at following through with things. You should see the half finished projects that I have! It's impressive.

I've made resolutions in the past, but I'm not really motivated enough to keep them. This year, my resolution was to read a book a month, which I was doing very good at until my kobo broke a couple months ago (which isn't an excuse I know.)

Side note: I stopped writing this earlier in the day, and just started again (at 11pm) FURTHER EVIDENCE.

I guess what I should do is get to the point! New years resolutions for 2014. Yes. I'm setting some. Will I fulfill them? probably not.

1. Write a blog post once a week
2. Do more creative things like writing, crafting etc.
3. Read a book a month. You can do it!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

I've found the goldmine, ladies.

I say "ladies" because I'm fairly certain only about 2 or 3 of my lady friends actually check my blog.

But I've found the most amazing website for cooking on a budget! it's http://www.budgetbytes.com and it's FANTASTIC! This lady has created delicious, yet budget-savvy recipes that make your mouth water! I'm testing our her sesame chicken recipe tonight!

Happy cooking!


Monday, May 13, 2013

Roadtrip 2013!

Recently Jordan and I had the opportunity to go on a road trip with his family through the United States. The plan was 6 states in 10 days. Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Utah, Arizona and California, and we made it! the 6 of us were in an Astro van, which was very very comfortable for our long travelling days. Here are some highlights from our trip! If you want to hear more stories, I would love to have you over and make you a coffee!

Bryce Canyon, Utah - This place was absolutely beautiful! 

  Enjoying the Utah sunshine



 Jordan and Ike not paying attention to the guard rails

 Family portait (missing a few lovelies) at the Grand Canyon in Arizona

 Grand Canyon, AZ

Delgadillo's Drive In, Seligmann AZ. One of the most interesting places! 

Our greeter, welcoming us to Oatman, Arizona! (this is called a Burro) 

 Stuck his head right into the van and accepted our present!

Hannah and I make friends with the Burro's who walk around the town 

Our slight detour to see the Hollywood sign led us on a drive through Beverly Hills, Bel-Air and Malibu! 

A beach full of Elephant Seals on the way to San Francisco up the #1 highway 

Exploring Fisherman's Wharf in Downtown San Francisco 

San Francisco's Chinatown 

 Finally found a beach worth stopping and exploring in Oregon on the way home.

Happy to be back at the Pacific Ocean (even though it was a little cold!)

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Our Monday Adventure

Jordan and I try to do something fun in the city every Monday, since that is the day in the weekend when Jordan is the most awake. This week we decided to go to the aquarium! Even though we've been tons before, it's still always fun to go see all the different creatures.

The night before we had the opportunity to see Great Big Sea at the Orpheum theatre with our brothers Steve and Ike and my Dad, and in a completely random happenstance... our good friends Dan and Amanda (read their amazing blog here) were sitting right next to us! We bought our tickets at the same time, in separate towns and without knowing, bought the seats that were right beside each other, I would call that divine providence, serendipity or whatever you would say. Anyways, it was an amazing concert, definitely in the top 3 I've seen... though they didn't play a few songs that I was looking forward to... (but I think that I can forgive them)

Great Big Sea!

Waiting to see the dolphins at the Vancouver Aquarium

 My favorite shot of the day from the Aquarium...