Thinking..

Sometimes I find it hard to gather my thoughts. It's almost like I'm trying to collect them in a colander and they keep sifting out the bottom. But sometimes it does happen. Sometimes I can make sense with the multiple situations, possibilities, stresses and thoughts floating around in my head. I enjoy those times when I can sit and actually think about one thing for more that a millisecond. When I can sit on my couch and enjoy a nice cup of tea with a book and not get distracted by anything that moves or makes noise around me...

It's interesting being taught to think again....

Thoughts..

I've never really felt comfortable sharing my writing with anyone... which makes me wonder why i started a blog in the first place. I've recently decided to get over this fear.

It would take me days to summon up the courage to read an essay I'd written in front of my class, or it would take tears to share a story I'd written in elementary school... I was told today that in one of my classes that we were going to have to make copies of all of our assignments and hand them out to the other students so they could critique them. My first reaction was fear. I didn't want people to read anything I've read at all.. But then some weird switch happened in my brain. All of a sudden it was like I took it as a challenge. I took it as a challenge to make myself a better writer so I would and could be confident about the things that I was handing out to the rest of the class, and my papers in the other classes...

Writing? bring it on...

I'm Alive

YARRRR

Instead Of A Show - John Foreman

New Creation - Leeland

Standing at the gate of love
Waiting for the life of the Son
To follow me 'til I am undone

Oh, you pulled me out of the mud
Up from the miry clay
You washed all my sins away
I've been redeemed

I am a new creation
I have been born again

I'm here in the world
But my home is in a heavenly place
Far above the stars out in space
I'm not afraid

Death where is your sting
Hell will never conquer me
A love pure and holy
Has set me free

And I am a new creation
I have been born again

I am a new creation
I have been born again

For behold! The old has passed away!
There's a hole inside of me
And I'll never run away from you!
Anymore, anymore

I am a new creation
I have been born again

I am a new creation
I have been born again

The old has passed away and the new has come!

I am a new creation
I have been born again!

Via Dolorosa - Way of Suffering

Start Freedom

November 4th, 2009

Franklin - Paramore

you remind me of a time when we were so alive...

do you remember that?

Hey Ocean! - Fish

$2 Halloween costume, awesome!

I'll Fight - REmix!

While guys and girls snort, swallow, sniff, shoot and smoke tons of drugs like they do now, I’LL FIGHT
While young punks swarm, curb stomp and bully others like they do now, I’LL FIGHT
While kids, teens and young adults cut and self-injure as they do now, I’LL FIGHT

While cliques are more concerned with their appearance and making money more than caring for others, as they do now, I’LL FIGHT
While adults physically, emotionally, verbally & sexually abuse youth, as they do now, I’LL FIGHT

While sex is freely given away to boyfriends & girlfriends,
While teens check out porn & young adults are engaged in sexual promiscuity,
While getting hammered, partying and clubbing is a generation’s choice and source of fun, while there remains one young dark soul without the light of God,

I’LL FIGHT… I’LL FIGHT to the very end!

Psalm 142

I cry aloud to the LORD;
I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.

I pour out my complaint before him;
before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me,
it is you who know my way.
In the path where I walk
men have hidden a snare for me.

Look to my right and see;
no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, O LORD;
I say, "You are my refuge,
my portion in the land of the living."

Listen to my cry,
for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.

Set me free from my prison,
that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
because of your goodness to me.

DeviantArt

Saskatchewan

So i'm ACTUALLY here! I'm in Saskatchewan! I've been here for a week now and things are just starting to pick up. Starting to hand out resumes and get used to my surroundings! I spent last weekend at Beaver Creek camp for their Youth Councils weekend and I was seriously blown away... Mark Hall (our new TYS) was the main speaker for the weekend, and he told it like it is. He delivered a straight forward message that really showed it's impact when almost all of the 39 kids that attended were at the mercy seat on the last day asking for forgiveness and leaving past sin behind them. The whole weekend was called "FREE"... no, it DID cost money to go, but the whole weekend was based on Human Trafficking and modern day slavery... We did an amazing freedom walk where the kids went through a series of stations about trafficking and slavery. I really think that they got something out of it, because during the hour walk, my group hardly said one word. I'm pretty sure this is one of the most powerful Youth Councils I've been to in a long time. The Lord moved in AMAZING ways, and I think God has a huge plan for the youth in Saskatchewan and Manitoba. Everywhere I look I see potential for great leadership and discipleship. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me here.

Run - Snow Patrol

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Nanaimo

So I'm extremely bad at this blogging thing, mostly because I feel like I have nothing constructive to say in these little spaces, because everyone knows what I'm doing already because of facebook, twitter, or just actually talking to me personally. But I know there are a few people that actually check blogs stilll... so Caitlyn, this is for you. I've been in Nanaimo for a while now, and to tell you the truth it's weird, being back with my friends here, doing what we used to do all the time.... Josh and Courtney are here this week which is really exciting that I get to see them. I really do miss Vancouver and everything and everyone there, I know I'll be back there in the future. At the same time I'm super excited for Saskatoon, to see everyone there when I get there, The Rands, Josh, Sarah, Rin, Steph... I'm stoked to see everyone and to start my life in a new province.. We'll see if I can survive the winter though! haha. It's going to be hard leaving BC, but I know it's not permanent and I know that I will be back. So I'm not going to let it be as hard as it has to be... I'm going to be positive and I'm going to make it enjoyable!


well, im boring myself
BYE.

OH YEAH! I'm flying to Saskatoon now, not driving.

QB + Rusty

Mission: Saskatoon

So I seem to be terrible at this blogging thing. I haven't even been journalling lately either..UGH! Crazy. A LOT of things have changed in the past couple weeks in a really dramatic way... first things first... I'm moving to Saskatoon! surprise! (I guess if you read my blog you would already know from some other way anyways...). Here's the story of WHY (since everyone wants to know!). I was told that I was going to be helping out at the music camp at Beaver Creek in Saskatoon, and of course I was extremely nervous. I was going to a camp where I knew absolutely no one and I didn't like that. Almost immediately I clicked with Shelly Rands, who I was counselling the oldest girls with for the week. She was very very nice as soon as I met her, and we became friends that instant. Within 2 days I felt like I had been there for years. Everyone who was there was amazing, including the kids, who put up with me when I didn't know where anything was! I have never met a group of people who have impacted my life so much in a week.... Shelly was talking about different opportunities to do ministry in Saskatoon and I got really excited! After thinking and praying and thinking and praying and after making some hard decisions... I decided that moving to Saskatoon was the right thing to do. So, I started making plans... and here is my plan if I haven't told you yet

*Take the bus back to BC on August 8th
*Graduate War College on August 22nd, and stay in Vancouver for a week or so.
*Go home to Nanaimo for 2 or 3 weeks, and hang out with my family (also have a job at the coffee shop for 3 weeks!)
*And at the end of September, we're loading up my Dad's Van and heading out to Saskatoon!

I'm so excited and I can't wait to get out here and to start my life in a new place. and I'm SO EXCITED that I'm going on a roadtrip with my dad! how awesome is that!!?!

I love you all SO much and I'm going to miss you! ♥