Better is one day...

My heart and flesh cry out

For You, the Living God
Your Spirit's water for my soul
I've tasted, and I've seen
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You..

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, In view of God's mercy,
to offer your bodies as living sacrifices. Holy and pleasing to God.
This is your spiritual act of worship.
Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is.
His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Devastated

I don't know what to feel. I'm caught in this crappy range of emotion that goes from hysterical, to sad, to angry... Any random thing can make me burst into tears. People ask me to explain, but that just brings everything back to the surface. I want so bad to just forget everything and live my life, but i can't. I have to face this head on, with God by my side. To tell you the truth, i don't know what i'm going to do at night time now.... The thought of not talking to him breaks my heart, and i know that it will never be the same between us again...Like..right now if i were to look at a picture of him i would cry. I just want it to end, i just want everything to be ok. Thinking that im not that person to him anymore just tears me apart inside. I want to be with him. I want to be his first call. But I'm not. and it hurts.

well, i guess i've learned that tear ducts never empty.